The Power of No

This space has been pretty quiet for a while. It may seem like I fell off the map.

In a way, I did. You see, the past 18 months or so have been pretty challenging. Over the course of those months we have dealt with meningitis, two other bacterial infections, a tonsillectomy (which is brutal when you’re a teenager), a thyroid disorder, a parent having a stroke (and subsequently becoming much more involved in that parent’s care), a broken hand, vocal chord dysfunction, a concussion, pneumonia, and a cerebrospinal fluid leak (feel free to look that one up). Did I mention my husband got a promotion in June that has him working until 8 p.m. most nights?

And that doesn’t even include the normal drama that goes along with raising two teenage girls.

So, in the past year and a half, I’ve had to make decisions about the things that I can devote my time and energy to. Unfortunately, writing was something that had to take a back seat. This poor little blog suffered from a lot of neglect.

While the past 18 months have been a little rough, I have learned one very important thing. Sometimes, we have to say no. Whether we’re saying it to other people or to ourselves, it’s an important word to know how to use. And I have gotten so much better at it.

You want my daughter to practice two nights a week until 11 p.m.? No. You want me to add four more things to my schedule? No. I want to blog three days a week and redesign my website? No.

When it’s all you can do to just get through the day, no becomes a very powerful word. Saying no has allowed me to say yes to other things.

I’ve gotten to spend some time with my girls that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’ve been able to watch them as they have met some challenges in the past 18 months with grace and patience (and, yes, some frustration and anger).

I was able to say yes to a weeklong vacation with just my husband. And I’ve been able to say yes to time with God, time that I’ve been able to spend just soaking up His word and His love without any pressure to have anything meaningful to say about it.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I want you, dear reader, to understand the power of no. This little blog is a worthy endeavor. It deserves more attention than it’s getting because I know it reaches people. Maybe in the next month or two, it will get the attention it deserves. My fingers are itching to write and my brain is whirling with unsaid thoughts.

But that will come in God’s timing, not mine. I’m not going to force it. When there’s something to be said, I’ll say it. But there will be days when no is the answer to am I going to write today. There are so many things I want to say and share with all of you about this crazy thing called parenting, but I can’t do it at the expense of my own parenting.

So, look for me a little more frequently in this space in the coming weeks, but don’t be surprised if it’s sporadic.

And do me a favor, take a look at your own life, at the things you are filling your time with. Maybe there’s something there that you need to say no to. Maybe forever. Maybe for just a little while.

You won’t be sorry that you did.

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