When Your Child is Drowning in the Tough Stuff

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My 14-year-old daughter has taken a beating in the past few weeks. She’s been sick for so long that she doesn’t remember what it feels like to feel well (she had her tonsils taken out yesterday, so hopefully, she’ll be on the mend soon). She’s learned about the ups and downs of a relationship with a guy. She’s been frustrated by her soccer situation. It’s been a rough couple months, especially the past few weeks.

And I’ve learned something in watching her battle through these things. First, she has more grace, patience and compassion than I ever will, and second, being a teenager is hard and being the parent of a teenager is hard, too. Being a teen is hard in ways it wasn’t when I was a teenager. And as a mom, I ache for my daughter and wish that I could spare her some of the hard lessons that this life is teaching her.

I know that God has it all under control. I know that he’s using these things to teach her something. But I’ll be honest, it feels like I’m watching my child stand in the ocean and get hit by wave after wave after wave. She comes up sputtering every time, only to get hit by another one.

That’s hard. It’s hard to watch your child hurt. It’s hard to watch them be emotionally and physically battered by life’s circumstance. It’s hard to watch them come up sputtering time after time after time.

And it’s hard to be the emotional rock that they need their parents to be. Because your heart is breaking for them. Every wave that hits them and knocks them down, knocks you down, too. It’s hard to have enough energy and emotional reserves to keep picking them back up again when all you want to do is lock yourself in the bathroom and cry for them.

In the midst of these tough moments, though, I am always reminded that God is creating something beautiful out of what seems like a mess. He’s standing in that ocean with my daughter. Not one single wave surprises Him. Not one single wave knocks Him down. When she is knocked to her knees, He’s there to lift her back up. She may not be able to stand in that ocean of life on her own as wave after wave of tough stuff knocks her down, but she can lean into God’s arms, absorb His strength and put her feet back under her.

And so can I. When this mom thing gets hard. When it hurts to watch my kid to get knocked down, I know that I can turn to my Father’s loving arms. I know that He can give me the emotional strength to see my daughter through illness, a tough soccer season, or a broken relationship.

Standing in this ocean we call life is hard for our kids, and it’s hard for us. No one ever promised us that life would be easy. But God did promise that He would always be at our side, ready to offer whatever it is that we’re lacking.

So, if your child seems to be drowning under wave after wave of tough things, remember that God is there to pick up your child — and He’s there to keep you standing as well. We’re not in this alone.

2 comments

  1. Sherry says:

    God took my child home 5 years ago after wave after wave knocked him down. As a parent I felt so helpless watching it happen. It has been difficult but i am now seeing Gods presence and his sustaining love through it all.

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