My younger daughter was sick all last week. She missed the entire week of school. While she’s not running a fever this week, she’s still fighting through the remnants of her illness. She has a horrible cough and is exhausted by the time she gets home from school.
Unfortunately, when you miss an entire week of middle school, there’s a lot to make up. She’s finally waded through all the homework, but she still has a few quizzes to make up. The whole process of making up work has been frustrating for her. Figuring out what’s missing and remembering to get it turned in has been stressful. Trying to take tests and quizzes over material from two weeks ago as you move on to new material in class is difficult. Honestly, she and I both are ready for it to be Friday.
We’ve had tears every night this week over schoolwork. My daughter is exhausted and so am I. She’s still not feeling 100 percent. Often her attitude has been less than stellar about all the work she’s had to do.
It would be really easy this week to let that attitude slide. And, truly, I’ve offered a lot of grace. But the thing is, even when we don’t feel good, even when we’re tired, it doesn’t excuse poor behavior, and we shouldn’t let our kids think it does.
God doesn’t ask us to follow Him, to become like His Son just when everything is going well. He doesn’t say “Be a witness for me when everything in your world is perfect, but it’s OK to act mean and cranky when things aren’t going well.” He says “Follow me. Become like me. No matter what.”
Paul spent a lot of time in some pretty awful jail cells. Yet he wrote letter after letter from those jail cells proclaiming the goodness of Christ. He shared the good news of Jesus despite his circumstances.
When we let our kids get away with poor behavior because of their circumstances, we’re telling our kids that it’s OK to let our circumstances get in the way. It’s OK to let external things change who we are on the inside, and that’s really not the message we want to send.
When things get tough for our kids and their behavior begins to reflect it, it’s time to take a step back. It’s time to remind them that God is present even the midst of difficult circumstances. It’s time to show them that God can be the source of strength and calm in the middle of their storms.
Because it’s often how we act in the middle of a tough time that says the most about who we are to others. It shows people our character and who we truly are.
When we teach our kids to rely on God when the going gets tough, we teach them that He is present in their lives in the good times and the bad ones. We teach them that when our strength is gone, His just keeps on going. We teach them that their behavior matters no matter how difficult the day. And that’s a lesson worth learning.