Today is my husband’s birthday. We’re doing something today that we haven’t done in a long time. He’s taking the day off, and we’re spending the day together while the girls are in school.
Oh, we’ll probably do some really exciting things like go to the grocery, and I still have a bit of work to do for the week. We might catch a movie. We don’t really have big plans, but we will get some kid-free time together today.
Our schedules in the fall get crazy. Between the three soccer tournaments, bi-weekly Friday night hockey practice, Girl Scout camping and church overnights, our weekends are booked from now until Nov. 1. It’s easy to get so caught up in dealing with all the kids’ activities that we miss spending time alone together.
I love my kids, but my kids need me to love my husband and him to love me. It’s hard to continue building a relationship with our spouses if we never spend any time with them.
We excuse working on our relationships with our spouses with thoughts like, “We’ll have plenty of time together when the kids are gone” or “We’ll go on a date when things slow down.” Listen, life is probably not going to slow down, and if we don’t work on our relationship with our spouses now, there won’t be a relationship later.
After God, our relationships with our spouses should be the top priority. Genesis 2:24 says “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” It’s the only time God talks about becoming one with another person. Nowhere does God tell us that our children should be our top priority. Being close to our spouses comes first.
Check out this great article on the MarriageBuilders website. It talks about the importance of putting your spouse first. “Children do not require parent’s attention 24 hours a day. Nor do they suffer when parents are giving each other their undivided attention.”
Somewhere in the past 50 years, our culture has placed a premium on sacrificing everything in our lives for our children, including our marriages. Kids don’t benefit when marriages fall apart, and marriages fall apart when every available resource is poured into our kids.
Carve out some time for you and your spouse. Ask a friend to watch your kids for a couple of hours and go on a date. Remind yourselves why you got married in the first place. Set aside some time every week just to talk to each other.
Because your marriage is the most important human relationship in your life. It’s the most important relationship in your kids’ lives, too. It’s worth making some time for each other. It benefits everyone in your family.