Body & Soul Review (and giveaway)

Body & Soul

This post contains affiliate links.

I have two girls in my house who take their sports seriously. A great portion of our time and money is invested in our daughters’ playing sports. And that’s OK. Our girls love their sports. They’re passionate about playing. They learn great things like how to be a leader, how to be an encourager, how to deal with disappointment and how to win graciously.

One thing that’s important in a house full of athletes is nutrition, exercise and body image. My older daughter plays soccer. If you’ve ever met a soccer player, you know that they tend to be in fabulous shape, but they also tend to have pretty large thigh muscles. Despite being in better shape than anyone else in this house, my daughter can still get caught up in the fact that her thighs aren’t stick thin.

That’s why I was so excited when Family Christian asked me to review Bethany Hamilton’s new book Body & Soul. For those of you unfamiliar with Bethany Hamilton’s story, she’s a professional surfer who lost an arm to a shark attack when she was 13. Her story was made into the movie Soul Surfer several years ago. Despite the injuries she suffered in the attack and nearly losing her life, she relearned how to surf with just one arm. She now surfs professionally.

In her new book, she addresses all the issues that teen girls face in dealing with nutrition, exercise and body image. She focuses on the importance of being healthy, of making healthy choices, of eating well, and of exercising regularly. She does it all from the perspective of taking care of the body that God gave you.

The first part of the book tells Bethany’s story and talks about how your body is a gift from God. She also talks about how your outlook affects everything in your life, including your health. She gives tips for eating well (smart eating secrets) and for exercising. The next part of the book is devoted to actual workouts that Bethany recommends. Full-color pictures and detailed descriptions of the exercises make the workouts simple and easy to follow.

Following the exercises, is a Q&A section that answers some of the common questions that girls may ask about nutrition and exercise. She also spends some time talking about the importance of a relationship with God and with those around you. The last part of the book is full of healthy recipes and suggested meal plans.

This book is a fantastic resource for the tween and teen girls in your life. It’s a fabulous resource for any girl, but if you have an athlete in your house, you need this book. Bethany’s outlook on life — both about her body and her soul — is an example for any girl who aspires to be a serious athlete. Girls will pay attention because this is a woman who knows what it means to condition her body to be the best at her sport. She’s also a woman who has been through an extremely difficult circumstance and not let it change who she is or what she loves to do.

I’m so excited to be able to giveaway an autographed copy of Bethany Hamilton’s Body & Soul. Just sign up below. I’ll announce the winner on Friday.

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Christmas Priorities

Christmas priorities

Our Christmas tree is up and there are lights on the outside of our house. That’s about the extent of the Christmas decorating that has happened here at our house. I’m thinking I might get some more decorations out this afternoon, but I might not get there. And that’s OK.

Usually by Dec. 8, Christmas has exploded in our house. We have decorations everywhere, but this year has been crazy. There’s not been a lot of time to put up decorations.

But while the decorations still sit in their boxes, I’ve baked cookies with my mom and my daughters. My husband, daughters and I went to see the great-great grandson of Charles Dickens perform a one-man show of A Christmas Carol. I took my older daughter to see one of her best friends perform in a version of The Nutcracker last night. We’ve shopped for a foster family. My girls have packed shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. I threw a Christmas party for my older daughter’s soccer team. This Friday evening we’re having a family night of dinner out, looking at Christmas lights and maybe a Christmas movie.

Because this year, I came to the conclusion that our Christmas season would be so much better if we spent it doing things we love with people we love than doing the things we think we have to do to make it Christmas. Because isn’t that what Christmas really is about?

It’s about a God who loved us so much that He sent His Son to be with us, to be one of us. He sent Jesus to spend time with us here on earth so that we could know Him and so, through His sacrifice, He could create a bridge between us and God.

As my kids get older, Christmas becomes less about the toys and the decorations and more about creating memories. It becomes about focusing on the baby in the manger and what that means for how we live our lives. It becomes about drawing together as a family so that we can grow closer to God together.

So, my advent calendar may be eight days behind. My house may be sparsely decorated. But that doesn’t mean there’s any less Christmas spirit. It doesn’t mean there’s any less joy in the season. It just means that the priorities have shifted. And that’s not a bad thing.

Categories: Christmas, Holidays | Tags: , , | 1 Comment



I wrestle with little white lights to cover the burnt-out section of a well-loved tree…

And I find fingerprints.

I squeeze underneath the bristly branches as the bell on the skirt sings a jingle jangle…

And I find fingerprints.

I hang each stocking marked with silver, glitter-splotched letters from berries of red…

And I find fingerprints.

I gingerly pull each ornament out as if to gently touch each memory it holds…

And I find fingerprints.

I string the garland, tie the bows and polish the candlesticks…

And I still find fingerprints.

I set the timers and the lights aglow to the sound of little voices in shades of “oohs” and “ahs”…

And once again, I find fingerprints.

Everywhere, there are fingerprints…

My daddy’s fingerprints.

Found most alive on our mantle where a merry little Santa sits. A little something that was left in my hospital room last year so that when I came back from surgery, I would see it. His way of telling his Christmas-loving girl that even though he wasn’t there to say it, he loved her.

And just like the little ones that fill my windows halfway up, my daddy’s fingerprints are a beautiful and indelible sign of life and love.

As much as it aches, it also reminds me not only of the love he gave me here on earth but also of the love he left behind. And as I trim the tree and bake the cookies and play with the Little People nativity set, I am very aware that I am also leaving fingerprints behind on my four little loves. I am writing, marking and leaving them changed.

So this season, this remarkable life-changing season, I am asking myself what kind of mama-prints will be left in my coming and going–what marks will I use to say I have loved them and will love them even when I am not here to say it…

Will my prints speak of love and mercy? Will they write a story of grace? Will they sound clearly through the noise?

Will they sing of my Jesus? Or will they speak more of me?

Will they write agenda and control in my babies’ hearts? Will they shout frustration and anger as our years are unpacked and counted? Will they hurt or will they salve?

And what will my loves remember when I am gone and they wrestle with the twinkly lights and hang the stockings and string the garland?

Jesus, I want it to be You.

I want it to be You in me, through me and in spite of me.

Mark every print with Your unshakeable peace and every word with Your mercy and every mess-up with Your grace so that when the moment for life without me comes and only memories are left, they still hear with resounding clarity, “I loved you then…I love you now…and I love you for all the years to come.”

Sara Cormany guest posts on the first Friday of each month. Sara is mommy to six-year-old Grace, four-year-old Drew, one-year-old Sophie, and her new little miracle Maddie.  When she is not wiping noses, changing diapers or chasing her kids, she is a sometimes writer and a sometimes teacher to teenagers.  But her most cherished role is that of one who is perfectly held by Jesus. She loves watching Him take the broken, the messy and the seemingly mundane of her everyday and turn it into something beautiful. She recently began her own blog called Where Feet May Fail. Be sure to check it out.




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4 a.m. Mommy Moments

4 am

It’s 4 a.m. It’s dark and cold, and I should be sleeping. I’ve been awake for an hour. It’s one of those middle-of-the-night mommy moments when the weight of the challenges facing my daughters is keeping me awake.

My older daughter is struggling to recover from an ankle injury and adjust to a new soccer coach. My younger one is struggling to make friends. And it’s all just a bit much for this mom’s heart. Because these aren’t problems I can fix. They aren’t things that a hug and a kiss on the forehead will make better.

These are things my daughters have to struggle through, mostly on their own. I can offer encouragement and a shoulder to cry on. I can give advice and a hug. But I can’t fix it. I can’t simply wave my magic mommy wand and make it all better.

But I want to. Oh, how I want to. I want to save my daughters the tears and the struggles. I want to keep their hearts in one piece. I want them to have the smoothest road they can have.

But that’s not life. Unfortunately, in this fallen world we live in, struggle is part of the package. Our kids have to navigate the bumps in the road, sometimes on their own. All we can do is stand back and watch and pray.

So at this 4 a.m. moment, I’ve been placing my kids at the foot of the cross. I’ve been handing them over to Jesus — the only one who can heal their hurts and make it all better. Because when there’s nothing I can do to fix the problem, I know that there’s plenty that He can do.

Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” That includes our kids. It’s hard not to worry about our kids. It’s hard to lay them at the foot of the cross and trust that God is going to use these struggles as part of His greater plan. But He is.

I’m confident that the things my daughters are facing now are preparing them for some piece of God’s plan in the future. I know that God will use all of this for good. But, honestly, that confidence doesn’t stop my heart from breaking when my daughters hurt. It doesn’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks as I pray. It doesn’t make the 4 a.m. mommy moment disappear.

Those things are part of being a mom. Those moments of heartbreak and tears are as much a part of being a mom as the moment of joy when that little bundle of baby was placed in your arms the first time. When you love someone as deeply as we love our kids, hurting when they hurt is just part of the package.

So, in the wee hours of this morning I’ll be laying my daughters’ wounded hearts in the lap of the only One who can heal them. I’ll be giving my kids to the only One who knows them and loves them more than I do. And through the mommy tears, I’ll remain confident that He will mend their hearts and use their hurts for His glory in the way that only He can.


Categories: Daughters, Parenting situations | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

6 Steps to Help Your Child Deal With Difficult Situations


Two weeks ago, my older daughter was blindsided by a decision that adults had made. That decision affected a really big part of her life in a really big way. It caused a lot of hurt and frustration for my daughter that we are still dealing with. It forced my daughter to accept a new direction for reasons she didn’t understand. It’s been hard, and it’s been the cause of a lot of tears.

One of the most difficult parts of being a parent is helping our kids deal with things that happen that our kids had no part in. When you’re a kid there are so many other people in your life who can make decisions that will affect your life. Often, our kids don’t get a say in those decisions.

And explaining those decisions to our kids can be difficult, especially when we might not agree with them entirely ourselves. But that’s our job.

It’s our job as parents to help our kids navigate through things that may seem unfair or downright mean. It’s our job to help our kids see that while that decision may not seem like the best one at the time, God can use it for good. He can take those circumstances that seem so crummy and create something beautiful out of them.

Since we’ve been dealing with this exact issue for the past few weeks, I wanted to share the steps we’ve taken to keep our daughter focused on moving forward and not getting stuck in the unfairness of the situation.

1. Let your kids vent their feelings.

When something unfair or unwanted happens to our kids, it can be easy to shove their feelings aside. There’s nothing you can do to change the situation, so why dwell on it, right? But our kids need to be able to express how the situation makes them feel. We shouldn’t expect them to suddenly be happy with a situation that they didn’t create. Our kids need time to process through the situation, and that requires that they have an outlet for their feelings. Be the person they can talk to. Let them know that their feelings are valid. Give them a reasonable amount of time to vent and cry if they need to.

2. Be honest about the situation.

If your kids have questions about what led to the decision that has made them so unhappy or frustrated, answer them honestly. Don’t be judgmental, but let your kids know the sequence of events that led to the situation. Try to be objective about those events, even if it’s hard. The decision has affected your child’s life. They have a right to know the age-appropriate explanation of what happened.

3. Point out the steps that need to be taken to move forward.

Your child needs to know that while the situation may seem crummy at the moment, they do still need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. They need to know that they have to move forward. Help your child decide on what steps they need to take to make the best of the situation. They may need to talk to someone else. They may need to adjust their own thinking. They may simply need to be encouraged to give the new situation a chance.

4. Remind your child that adjusting to change takes time.

While God has a plan in mind that will use this situation for good, it may not happen overnight. It may take a while before your child can see how God is using the situation for good. Remind your child to be patient and to look for the bright spots along the way.

5. Be your child’s biggest champion.

If there’s something you can do to make the situation easier for your child, do it. There are moments when we need to step back and let our kids navigate their own way, but when a situation arises that our kids didn’t create, it’s OK for us to step in and be an advocate for our kids. When our kids are simply trying to process through a difficult situation, they may need our help to find their way. And that’s OK. That’s why they have us.

6. Keep an eye out for the good.

God promises that He works all things together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). That means that no matter how difficult the situation, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your eyes peeled for that light and point it out to your kids when you see it. Remind your kids that God isn’t going to leave them stuck in the difficult times forever. Good is coming. We just have to be looking for it.

Difficult situations aren’t fun for our kids, and they’re not fun for us. There’s nothing worse as a parent than to see your child hurting. But God gave our kids parents to help them find Him even in the difficult times. We just have to keep our eyes on Him and wait for Him to work things out for good.

Categories: Character, Parenting situations | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

Everyday Christmas

I had a great time today speaking to the ladies at the MOPS group at Lawrence Free Methodist church about how to incorporate Jesus into our existing Christmas traditions.

If you’re looking for a Christmas devotional, check out my e-book Everyday Christmas, which offers food for your soul and some great ideas about how to incorporate Jesus quickly and simply into your Christmas traditions.

New cover

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Something Precious


I have a mommy confession.


Scratch that.

It’s more like I have a mommy obsession.

Every fall, I find myself in valiant pursuit of that one precious all-the-children picture.

And every year, there is one backdrop that has never let me down…

The Weston Red Barn Farm.

It’s rustic and charming and surrounded by all things precious.

But this year, as I pulled out my camera, I sensed failure when my husband said, “Honey, do you think we should just go to the grocery store fall thing?  I mean Weston is a hike and…”

To which I interrupted with, “But it’s tradition and lovely and the kids can ride the pony and remember the apple donuts?  DO NOT forget about the apple donuts.  Heaven in a bag, babe.”

(Truth be told, I had him at the word “donut.”)

So we went to the charming farm.

I knew we were toast the second we got out of the van and Drew said, “Mom, I am SOOOOOOO hot.  I think I might die.” But I still shot him my “Suck it up, kid.  It may be 80 + degrees and your long-sleeved black Halloween shirt may be an oven but this is for posterity.”


Not two minutes later, I was with him, dying and all.

My sweatshirt was now a sauna. My hormones, a hellish monster. And had another minute passed, I would have wholeheartedly launched into the pig trough for sweet relief but mercifully, I was distracted when I heard the word “pony.”

(Sweet heavens, if I hadn’t promised them all a pony ride.)

The pony was up the hill…the heinous hill of no return.

Combine the not-so-sturdy Snap and Go with pebbled terrain and my not-so-graceful gait and we might as well have been climbing Everest.

Not to mention that I had already said “excuse me” more times in that one hour than I have my entire life.  Every time I tripped and stumbled, I bumped someone. Because to the point, THERE WERE SO MANY BLESSED PEOPLE THERE.

(I swear someone told them about the donuts.)

But for tradition’s sake, we still oomphed and umphed and excused ourselves up the hill. It was only after reaching the top of the precious thing that we came to the tragic realization that THERE WERE NO PONY RIDES.

Bless. My. Sweatshirt.

So we turned around, trod back down the pebbled path and just about the time I convinced myself that the disappointment would build character, my dear eldest pipes in with, “This is boring,” which prompts me to say, “I’ve got nothing, sister…just go jump in the straw.”


(Try not to be intimidated by such mom awesomeness.)

It was at this point my hubs felt the need to reiterate, “I think the fall festival two miles away would have been a way better tradition.” I didn’t even protest. “Ugh…you are probably right…why did I think this would be magical?!?!?

The hubs wisely stayed silent.

But as we made our way back to the pumpkins, I barfed the most unholy words,

“Let’s just try for one more picture.”

So we did.

And then it happened…


Children screamed.  Babies were almost dropped.  Sophie bolted through the barbed wire.

And I kept promising donuts to anyone who would listen to me.

Then the picture-taking devolved into pumpkin-picking and to the entire public that visited the farm, I wholeheartedly apologize.

We were yelling.

Not “I’m so mad” yelling.  But the “Lord-please-don’t-let-us-lose-a-child-now” kind. We were just so close, so focused, so intent on getting the hoot out of there that we just had to keep it together.

It was ugly. Full-on. U-G-L-Y.

But remember the donuts? Across the street? The ones I referred to as heaven in a bag?

Well, I ate FIVE…and it helped.

Seriously, y’all.


But even as the cinnamon and sugar dripped most gloriously from my mouth, I came to a conclusion.

Precious pictures are needed.  They remind this memory-challenged mama of how I really feel at the end of day when all the chaos has quieted.  When I can run my hands through their sweaty bedheads and touch their perfect little noses and see the messy beautiful so clearly in each of them.

But I’m finally to a place where I need the 29 ridiculously accurate pictures too.

If only to shout, “WE ARE A REAL FAMILY!!!!”

One that messes up and falters and falls.  One that skins their knees and has to apologize.  One that can plan to have a magical experience and end up with the pumpkin patch on steroids.

One that needs Jesus, people.

Oh, how we need Him.

So as you plan the Thanksgiving dinners and take Christmas card pictures and deck the halls and all that jazz, remember my family and the yelling and the donut therapy and rejoice in this:

Real people have real families that really need Jesus.

And even though we may have more pictures that end up awkward and bizarre and more crazy than cute, in the end, when we’ve tripped and stumbled and fallen all over ourselves, when we’ve tried and failed through all those 29 moments in-between, He surprises us with what we have been looking for all along…

Something precious.


Sara Cormany guest posts on the first Friday of each month. Sara is mommy to six-year-old Grace, four-year-old Drew, one-year-old Sophie, and her new little miracle Maddie.  When she is not wiping noses, changing diapers or chasing her kids, she is a sometimes writer and a sometimes teacher to teenagers.  But her most cherished role is that of one who is perfectly held by Jesus. She loves watching Him take the broken, the messy and the seemingly mundane of her everyday and turn it into something beautiful. She recently began her own blog called Where Feet May Fail. Be sure to check it out.

Categories: Christmas, First Friday, Guest post, Holidays | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Dealing with Suicide


It’s been a tough week around here. Two junior girls on the soccer team at our local high school committed suicide over the weekend. Neither of my daughters knew them, but my older daughter knows people who did. And the fact that they were girls who are very much like my older daughter has really hit home for her. Yesterday morning, she looked at me and said, “Mom, they were me in two years.”

I don’t know the circumstances surrounding these girls. I don’t know what their home life was like. I don’t know what things they were struggling with, but I do know this: Those girls felt like there was no solution to whatever issue they were facing. They literally felt there was no hope.

The death of any child or teenager is difficult, but when a suicide happens, there’s so much more involved for the kids who are trying to process it. On top of the sadness, there’s anger that their friend would choose to do something that would hurt others so much and there’s guilt that they either didn’t know their friend was struggling or that they didn’t do the “right” things to stop it.

As parents, suicide is equally difficult to deal with. We’re often torn between wanting to let our kids talk about it and wanting to not put too much attention on it so as not to encourage others to see it as a viable option for solving their problems. It’s hard to know what to do.

But, here’s the thing. Any time tragedy strikes, our kids have to be allowed to process through what has happened. They need to know that their parents are safe to talk to. They need to be allowed to cry, to rage, to howl in grief. They need to be able to talk to their friends, their ministers, and counselors if they need to. They need to know that their feelings are valid. They need to know that however they feel about things is OK.

In situations like this, though, they also need to know that the choice their friends made wasn’t the right one. They need to know that no matter how bleak things look, there’s always help available. They need to know that their parents are there to offer help and to listen. They need to know that no topic is off limits for discussion. And they need to know that life is always, always the right choice.

So, today, I’m asking that you hug the kids in your circle of influence tight. Talk with them about what to do when they’re sad and frustrated and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Be available when your kids want to talk. Take their concerns seriously. And, please, pray for my community as an entire high school full of kids deals with a tragedy that baffles both them and the adults around them and that breaks everyone’s hearts.

Categories: Death, Parenting situations | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

Is Your Love Dependent on Your Child’s Performance?


I made a parenting mistake this weekend. And my daughter called me on it.

We were at my daughter’s very early morning, very cold soccer game. She was struggling with it being her first game back after several weeks off for an injury. The field was wet, and the ball was skipping. She went to kick the ball right in front of where I was sitting on the sidelines. She missed. And I yelled her name in a harsh tone of voice.

My daughter was already frustrated because she wasn’t playing as well as she wanted to. Her ankle hurt. And her mom expressed frustration with her play.

I try really hard not to be an overbearing sports parent. I try to tell my girls I love watching them play no matter how they play. I try not to overanalyze their games. We try to let sports be just something else that they do — not the thing that defines their worth.

But on Saturday morning, I got caught up in the game. I got caught up in my daughter’s concern about her playing and her frustration with her ankle. I yelled, and she heard me.

When she came off the field, she was in tears. She was upset that her ankle still hurt. She was upset that she hadn’t played well. But the thing that made it all worse was that I had yelled at her. “You sounded more mad than my coach was,” she said.

That’s when I knew I’d blown it. That’s when I knew that I’d taken one step back on this parenting journey that is so often a constant dance of two steps forward and one step back.

You see, my job as a parent is to be there. It’s to pick my kids up when they fall. It’s to let them know that they are loved no matter what. It’s to have their backs all the time.

Because when my kids come off the field after a bad game or home from school after a frustrating day, they need to know that I love them not because of how they played or what grade they got on their test but because of who they are. They need to know that there’s one place in this world that’s safe, at least one person in this world who loves them no matter how they perform.

It’s easy to get caught up in our kids’ sports or artistic endeavors. It’s easy to focus on performance over character. It’s easy to crush our kids’ spirits because we forget that what they do on the sports field, the dance floor or at school isn’t a reflection of their worth.

When we parents become so caught up in our kids’ performances that we forget the performance has nothing to do with our child’s worth, we diminish who our kids are. When we focus only on performance, we reduce our kids to numbers and deeds. We lose sight of their personality and the plans that God has for them.

Simple words that we utter without thinking can make our kids think that we care more about their performance than we do about them as people, so we have to be careful. We have to think about what we say. We have to let our kids know we care more about them than we care about their performance. Because when we give the impression that we only love them when they perform well, we give our kids the impression that love is conditional. We turn love into something that has to be earned.

And when we do that, we can make our kids questions God’s love, too. If our love is conditional when our kids have every right to expect it to be unconditional, then how can they trust that God’s love is unconditional?

Our kids should never have to question whether we love them. They should never have to question if God loves them.

Our words have power, and we need to use them well. We need to use them to let our kids know they are loved no matter what. We need to use them to make sure our kids never think their worth is based on their performance. We need to simply be careful and choose our words wisely. Because when we do, we teach our kids the true meaning of unconditional love.

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Lessons from a Blue October

Blue October

My kids went to bed late last night. And they went to bed sad. Our team lost the World Series by one run.

I don’t know how many of you readers are local, but this town that we live in has been on a wild, crazy ride with our hometown Royals for the past month. A city that had forgotten how much it loves baseball finally remembered. A city that for 29 years had suffered through 100-loss seasons and years where the team was so bad they didn’t even take a team picture came alive in October with love for their boys in blue.

I could spend this space talking about how our society places too much emphasis on professional sports or how we pay our athletes too much money, but I’d rather not. Instead, I want to talk about the great lesson my girls have learned about finding common ground with other people.

In the midst of a contentious election season when the talk is usually divisive and abrupt, we’ve experienced a month where everyone in this town has found something in common, a reason to smile, a reason to talk. It didn’t matter if you were Republican, Democrat or anything in between. No one cared if you were black, white or purple. If you had a Royals shirt, cap or jacket on, you were gifted with a smile or conversation with perfect strangers.

When the sadness fades and the frustration at leaving the tying run 90-feet from home passes, we’ll look back on the past month and realize that for those 30 days, we’ve all been standing on common ground. We’ve all simply been neighbors.

And that’s what I want my girls to take away from this experience. I want them to remember the October where everyone in this metropolitan city of more than 1 million people was our neighbor. I want them to remember that there’s always common ground to be found with other people.

Because I think that’s what Jesus meant when He told us to love our neighbors. He meant for us to look around and ignore the trivial things like political party affliation, skin color, what neighborhood you live in, or whether you like Pepsi or Coke. He wants us to love those around us no matter our differences. If we treated each other every day like Kansas Citians have treated each other in the past month, we’d be a whole lot closer to what I think God wants us to look like because we’d look a whole lot more like Him.

So as the sadness of loss fades away and we remember how much fun this blue October has been, I hope my girls will also remember that it’s not that hard to love your neighbor. It’s not that hard to find common ground. We just have to look for it.

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